Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Tale as old as time...

My gram loves telling us (i.e. the grandchildren) how she and my grandfather were "third wheels" here in DC on a picnic date (both were in the Navy). Their roommates' date did not work out but my grandfather soon knocked on my grandmother's apartment door with flowers, asking for a real date. My gram still recalls with a twinkle in her eye about how hot that summer was and how sweat beads rolled down my grandfather's forehead and he nervously tried to hold her hand on the Mall.

My dad, after being rejected by mom and was told, "You're crazy!", followed my mom to Israel and wouldn't take no for an answer. Their first kiss was next to the Dead Sea after my mom pushed my dad in.

Now...THOSE are stories you can tell the grand kids about!

But will I get to have one of those stories? Whatever happened to the fairytale beginning that so many of the older generation seems to have?

Let's take the gay community and my circle here in the District. The "usual" methods include:

1) online - aka, goodbtmnDC messages hngtopShaw and poof, romance blooms;
2) at the bar - aka, 3 am, the dance floor is sparse, you look to your left, see someone cute and decide to grind for 30 minutes before telling them that your place is 3 blocks away;
3) Through friends - aka, "This is my friend John - we only slept together three times." "Only three times? Well...how do you do?"

Now some of you cynics might be saying, "Hey - this is how you hook up with guys for non relationship relations, not start relationships!"

Look to your left...look to your right...how many of you in relationships started with casual sex?

There is nothing wrong with casual sex. This blogger's opinion is that if you want to have casual sex with a random person, go at it! Just use protection to make sure that no gifts are left behind (for those that can't read through the subtext, STI's and unwanted pregnancies).

What is wrong, however, is the old myth of how relationships begin. I've been told so many times, "You'll never meet a boyfriend there!" or "If you really wanted a serious boyfriend, you would stop going out all the time!" (thank you, mother).

Sometimes, however, a one night stand turns into something. You wake up in the morning, look over to your left (or right, depending on which side of the bed you sleep on) and don't think, "Damn, still here...." but think, "Hey...he's still here!". And you don't mind.

In modern times, this is the fairytale. This is what so many of us single boys crave when we hit the clubs in a frenzied dance number. While sex may be on the forefront of our minds, we can't deny that little bit of ourselves that ask, "Could this be more than just sex?"

I'm not saying that all boys at the clubs and online and whatnot are trying for relationships or anything long term. I have plenty of friends who are plenty happy being single and out there and they are just looking for casual one nighters.

But for those that are (and you know who you are)...we have a new modern fairytale.

The DJ is your fairy godmother, waving her wand over the music, entrancing the crowd. The evil stepsisters trying to foil your every move is your ex-boyfriend who scowls at you in the corner, waiting for his opportunity to ruin your evening. The bartender is the neutral witch who provides you with enough potions to either gain courage or make a complete ass out of yourself. Your friends become the talking animals who encourage you, guide you, rescue you (sometimes the prince from afar is the wicked witch in disguise), and console you. And in the crowd is the one prince - the one guy who will sweep you off your feet.

Sure, we can also read that as Katy Perry's "California Gurls" starts blaring, you want to make your ex jealous, so you do two shots of Jameson and start making out with the first boy who grinds upon you before your friends drag you out of the situation.

Look at Disney - Cinderella had one dance before running out, getting the prince to call the kingdom guard to find her (guess the kingdom's department of defense had some men to spare). Snow White spoke to Charming once before getting exiled with 7 old men. Ariel rescued her man from an exploding ship and the next morning, totally in love with him AND MOVED to be with him. Aurora met her prince in the woods and fell in love, then ruined it by having a trippy experience involving needles. And Jasmine got weak kneed after one magic carpet ride. All one night stands with a little bit of magic thrown in.

So my fellow single boys - keep hope alive! As we go through life kissing a lot of frogs, don't give up! Don't let the cynics tell you that love can't be found at the bar. Sometimes, a once night stand is more than a one night stand and that is OK! Like those Disney princesses, we sluts too can live happily ever after.


Admiral X said...

Aurora met her prince in the woods and fell in love, then ruined it by having a trippy experience involving needles. And Jasmine got weak kneed after one magic carpet ride. All one night stands with a little bit of magic thrown in.

LMAO! Classic. But, um, what was Jasmine doing riding the carpet?

Guilex said...

What she was doing was getting her groove on as a new member of the Mile High Club...it was a whole new world. :-)

The Diarist said...

Ooo ... obligatory weekly "100MC" reference ...