Movie Review: The Muppets

I recently saw The Muppets. This decision was a foregone conclusion from the first time I heard rumor that a new Muppet movie was being made, one that was going to bring them "back to form". It certainly helped that the movie is getting glowing reviews from big-name critics and small-name bloggers. The gist of what the reviews are saying are:

• The Muppets, who seemed completely lost after Muppets From Space, have found their way back into our hearts and imagination.
• The cornerstone of The Muppets has been, is, and always will be their realness. And this movie cements that cornerstone even more securely.
• Stars of stage and screen, past and present, will still do the ridiculous to be in a Muppet movie.
• The Muppets are as sweet, topical, and subversive as ever.
• The humans aren't too shabby either.
• There is humor for all ages. And all ages can enjoy this flick without worry.

There are a few misfires ... a "WTF" moment with an ill-advised song, an over-abundance of human actors taking up Muppet screen time, too much breaking the Fourth Wall, too much self-referencing. But there are also some great moments ... David Grohl's brief cameo, Sweetums' introduction (for you who've watched all The Muppet movies), Jack Black's performance, the musical numbers (one touching number, specifically, which references something that actually happened on The Muppet Show). Go watch it; this movie gets a solid 4.5 out of 5.

But this isn't what my movie review is really about. I'm about to go deeper into my impressions and thoughts on the movie. Those of you who want to remain untainted by opinion before seeing it should stop reading now and come back again afterwards.

The plot is a superfan getting the crew together to save a forgotten and decaying relic of the past from destruction and desecration. Basically. There's a lesson about finding one's own way in life, discovering one's true self. But, really, who can pay attention to that when we have to get The Muppets back together again?

Don't be fooled. This movie is about reclaiming and reviving one's childhood. Not reliving it ... resuscitating it, bringing it back to life.

There are many out there, Mr. Segel included (at 1:49), who think that The Muppets had to be brought back from the dusty crates and moth-ridden closets for this newest generation to truly appreciate them. And, you know, for this newest generation, those who presumably have never seen The Muppet Show or any of the first three Muppet movies ... maybe they did need a new movie. Maybe they needed this fresh view to really get what The Muppets are and why the people of my generation cherish them so dearly.

Except these aren't my Muppets. Jim Henson has been long dead. The same is true for Richard Hunt. Frank Oz decided to sit this one out. These were the heart, soul, voices, and operators of at least thirteen of your main Muppets, most of whom are major characters in this movie. The kids won't know. But I do. See, The Muppets aren't like James Bond ... you can't just insert new voice and hand and go along as if nothing's changed. Because everything has changed. These people didn't just operate these characters ... these characters were an extension of their unique personalities. You can't just replace a personality (although Madonna has certainly tried to do that over the course of her career).

No, these aren't my Muppets. They are Muppets playing my Muppets. Acting, if you will. And on that point they succeed. Just like I could accept Roger Moore as James Bond, just like I could accept Michael Gambon as Albus Dumbledore, just like I could accept Brian Johnson as lead singer of AC/DC, I can accept these Muppets as a more than adequate substitute for the Muppets of my youth.

So I went and saw The Muppets and I enjoyed it. The Muppets allowed me to fall in love anew with my felt friends. It allowed me to reminisce on my childhood. But it made me want to go back to my The Muppet Show DVDs and watch the real deal. Because no matter how much we wish we could, we can only relive the past; we can't recreate it.

I do wish this new iteration ... this "reboot", if you will ... all the best. In my opinion, they did the legacy of Jim Henson and all of those original Muppeteers proud. I hope that they can continue to build on this foundation that Jason Segel has built because it's a pretty solid one.

Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out

I can't wait for this new album to be released.

Just a little something I wrote, once upon a time...

Want You

I am not going to say that I want you.

You wouldn't believe me anyway;

Not that I don't appreciate that fact,

I sympathize with your need to have proof

Of such things as: Want... and Love.

Declarations are used all the time by claimants

"I WANT you" "I NEED you" "I LOVE you"

But not me, not today.

I already said, I am not going to say that I want you.

Who would want to deal with the hours? Seriously.

Playing games, listening to music, watching the longest movie EVER.

Talking about things of greater substance than the casual

"How are you?"s "What do you do?"s & the "Oh My God, girl, did you hear?"s

The fluff is so much easier to digest.

And I am sure one trick or another would be pleased to discuss them at great length...

WELL, maybe not GREAT length

Oh and by the way, I am not going to say that I need you, either.

I wouldn't begin to know where to put someone so complex.

It is not because I have so many complexities myself.

Rather, I do not have the experience in peeling an onion.

A layer, a layer, a layer...each more uncertain than the last.

I am sure like an onion, there would be crying with each unraveling.

There has got to be a person less intense...

But, I assume not quite as interesting.

So, what if I did say that I want you?

I have some hours to spare in my life.

Perhaps, I have nothing better to do.

But, if I keep thinking that way, does that make you the best use of my time?

I admit I like the games, I enjoy the music & the videos have been wonderful.

AND, perhaps your complexities and the substantial conversations are welcome.

Maybe there would not be much crying, a few shed tears, more smiles and laughs.

Spending time until the morning sun rises over the city.

Maybe, I do need that in my life.

Maybe, I have not had that kind of real moment.

Maybe, I could hear more about the pains & joys of growth.

Maybe, I need the challenge to my thoughts.

And Just Maybe, you are the one to provide that.

Maximizing Economics Students

I have a class that meets Monday, Wednesday & Friday each week from 12:30p-1:20p. At the beginning of this class there is a quiz of five questions on the readings for that day's lecture (Approximately 30 quizzes for the semester). The lowest 10 quizzes are dropped & there is usually anywhere from 1-2 pt curve per quiz with an additional +1, if you provided a face pic for the professor's seating chart. So, clearly all you have to do is show up for the quiz, get 2-3 questions correct on 20 of them and you have a perfect quiz score for the semester.

Now, add in that the professor also posts his notes for the lectures and the PowerPoint presentations that he uses to teach the class. They are cute slides and help convey the material, but the professor himself is rather monotone.

What would be the expected result of the  combined quiz requirement and the note/PowerPoint benefits in a class full of economic students? The result is that a majority of the class decides to leave after the quiz. This allows them to maximize their time, if they a) value leisure over class time, b) have other class work to complete, or c) any other item that the opportunity cost of missing out on would exceed the benefit of staying in class.

The professor, who is a PhD student, should think about writing research on this subject as he has test subjects in front of him...briefly...daily.

Music Video Friday: Eyes By Kaskade Featuring Mindy Gledhill

Until two years ago, I hadn't really heard of Kaskade. I may have heard a song of his or a remix he had done, but I wouldn't have known it. Over the past two years, my boyfriend has slowly introduced me to the music of Kaskade and I've become a fan.

Today's musical interlude is the first single off his soon-to-be-released album. The instrumental track is soothing, foot-tapping, and hypnotic. In short, it's all the good things that a Kaskade's underlying groove has to offer. Mindy Gledhill's vocals are wispy and dreamlike. She delivers the lyrics with a sweet, naïve (in a good way) aching that pulls you in like a gentle tide.

Eyes may indeed be the windows to the soul but ears are the channel to it.

The Greatness of Accepting Death

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ... Stay hungry. Stay foolish."--Steve Jobs (Stanford Commencement Speech 2005)


I think, this is a profound statement in the way that it lends insight into how highly successful individuals live their lives. If you want to be successful, eliminate the barriers to success: embarrassment, pride, external expectations and fear of failure. Compact, real, possible.

The Hitler Meme

This one is by far my favorite of the "Hitler" series, so I'm posting it everywhere!

Covers...

So, why is it that I only discovered this cover like 2 weeks ago?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyvFhrDzLfY

Life at 34: A Retrospective of Sorts

Be happy. If you want to do something... do it.
Play. And do it everyday. It keeps you smiling.
Smile. And smile. And smile some more.
Love. It's easy. Give openly and willingly to those you care about.
Forgive. You'll feel so much better when you do.
Trust. But only a few.
Have heart. You aren't the only one that feels the way you feel at any moment.
Cry. If you hurt. You're human, it's allowed.
Make friends. Hold them close and cherish the times you spend with them.
Call your mother. She'll appreciate it. Especially, if it is just to say, "I love you."
Be present. I can't stress this enough. Put the phone down during dinner.
Be happy. Be alive.

Competitive Nature vs. Tactfulness

The structure of my learning experiences in the past to force me to describe my decisions in detail, has lead to an interesting negative externality. In high stress, quick decision situations, I lose my ability to internalize my decision process and word vomit my rational.

Example from real life: "We need are best players on the field, so put in..." What I failed to realize in this scenario is 1) the feelings of the people that I did not list (though I listed 3 and left the other 8 positions to be filled accordingly around them) & 2) what changes had been made, since the beginning of the game that may ineffectively leave players on the sideline that I wanted in the game. Would I change this decision? No. Would I handle it better had I not been trying to get my point across in a short amount of time? Yes.

My leadership skills outside of these small situations are very strong. But, I wonder sometimes how much these small situations may detract from my ability overall? Apologies only go so far to repair this. Do a lot of people run into the same issue, or is it my need to show my rational, just that--my need?

Music Video Friday: Stand By R.E.M.

I have a weekly feature at my personal blog (shameless self promotion? yes please!) where I highlight whatever random some pops into my head. Usually I'll type words of somesuch or another to frame the video. I've decided, as a way to keep content coming on this community site, to cross-post it here every Friday as well. Enjoy, peeps!

I'm certain that you've heard the news: R.E.M. is calling it quits after over 30 years of music making. I wouldn't call myself a dedicated fan, but I am a fan. I have all of their albums. I enjoy the vast majority of the music they've made. While their post New Adventures in Hi-Fi music was still good, the band called "R.E.M." was over when Bill Berry left. Michael, Peter, and Mike carried on for five more solid albums and 15 more solid years as something that very closely resembled "R.E.M." but not quite.

It's hard for me to pick out just one song to showcase. There are just so many. But the one I've got for you today is up in my Top 10 from the band. It's a bouncy tune with an important message about becoming actively involved "in the place where you live". It's up to you to decide to what degree and in what ways you will be.

And also, dance steps. We could all use a little more exercise, right?

Now face North.

A Lesson In How Stoopid We Iz

I was listening to the 90's station on satellite radio on my way home last night when C+C Music Factory came on. It was a song that I had almost completely forgotten about titled "Here We Go (Let's Rock & Roll)". About one minute into it, the thought that had been sitting quietly in the back of my head jumped up front in a very loud fashion.

HEY! YOU'VE HEARD THIS SONG BEFORE!, it shouted at me.

Of course I have. It's from 1990., I calmly replied.

NO, YOU MORON! YOU'VE HEARD THIS SONG BEFORE AS A DIFFERENT SONG!, it retorted.

And you know what, that voice was right. I had heard this song before as a different song. From the same musical group.

This isn't just a case of lazy songwriting. This is a case of lazy, we-think-you-are-all-clueless-consumer-roboticons songwriting. And you know what? They were right. "Here We Go (Let's Rock & Roll)" was the second single from their debut album and it peaked at Number 3 on the US pop charts. It didn't do as well as the song from which it was blatantly ripped. But Number 3 as the second single of the same song is a pretty damned good con.

C+C Music Factory skooled us, kids. And they skooled us well.

Here is the music video for "Here We Go (Let's Rock & Roll)":



And here is the lead-off single they cannibalized:



Same. Mother. F*cking. Song.

Damn.

Rebirth: The Knowledgemonger

The Knowledgemonger Rises Again


After a long stint of writer's block and half-hearted writings, I have resurfaced to tackle multiple topics in multiple fields, as I have been known to do. My thirst has returned and I my friends will be contributing again to the 100MC.

Now, if I could get my cohorts to do the same. An idea or 2, re-share your postings from your other blogs and make this a great link to the brightest minds in DC. Yeah, I said it. I don't think that collectively there is a better group for presenting ideas and tackling them from every angle. I had and have a vision for this blog and I want to make it whole, again. So, here I am going to do what I do best: talk common sense about life, social liberties, politics, economics, and above all the pursuit of happiness. Bliss, my friends is where it is at.

Too long, have I personally sat back and let some things happen without being an active participant. That was a great mistake as it sapped my happiness and took me off of the track to those wondrous things that I so love. And this, blogging with friends, intellectually interacting and enjoying the best things in life will not wait. So, get on the horse and ride with me once more and lets make something beautiful. It is what we do best. I am inviting a couple more collaborators and I think you should as well. Let's make this thing interesting.

I WILL post at least 3 times a week. Can you keep up? And if I don't call me out on it. Isn't that where our bond was?

Resounding

Silence

Hello? Huh? Wha ... Do You Know What Time It Is?!

My parents had a standing policy in our house: no phone calls after 10p unless it was an emergency. When I moved out of my parents' and on my own, I continued that policy. It's a good policy. No one wants to be bothered with trivial crap when they're trying to wind down after a long day or when trying to get ready for a long evening. I can honestly say that I can't recall a single friend or acquaintance of mine who has ever violated that policy, whether they knew it existed or not.

The advent of smart phones and text messaging, however, has led to a blurring of the lines of etiquette. Text messages are quick and not that intrusive, we tell ourselves. I can just shoot of this one random thought to this one random friend at this one random time of night and it'll be alright because it's completely random.

Let me tell you right now that it's not alright.

My text messaging policy is exactly the same as my phone call policy. Do not text or call me between the hours of 10p and 7a unless you can physically see me or unless it is an emergency. And by "emergency", I don't mean you're going through an existential crisis or a rat just scurried across your feet while you were trying to hail a taxi. "Emergency" means someone has died, someone is seriously injured, or you finally got arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct.

Someone please tell me I'm not alone on this one.

:: crickets chirping ::

You know, for a bunch of opinionated blowhards, we totally fail at this blogging thing.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes...

Worry not! This isn't a Broadway themed post. You may enter with no fear of ear drum damage from a miked Merman, or eye strain from a technicolor Taymor production. What it is about is that I'm a numbers guy. I like numbers. I always have. After all, I was originally going to be a mathematics major at GW before life decided otherwise. One of my favorite moments while there was the day in Elementary Number Theory where we spent the entire class proving why 2 ≠ 1. My job now consists of, in essence, pushing pixels around a screen and nothing frustrates me more than when 10 pixels are not 10 pixels (thank you, Internet Explorer 6 :-P). So where am I going with this you may ask as you look at your screen with the look of bewilderment that Dorothy and Blanche always shared during one of Rose's St. Olaf stories. Suffice it to say, I like numbers.

Numbers motivate me. This has been something that I've had a hard time getting across to my personal trainer. He likes for me to just focus on the doing, but it is infinitely easier for me to do 15 reps of something if I know it's just 15 reps that I'm doing. I will always be counting in my head. I'll always be watching the time on the treadmill or elliptical. Counting strokes on the rowing machine, etc.

With one's body comes a whole raft of numbers: height, weight, waist size, endowment, shoe size, etc. Unfortunately, many of these numbers are either wildly innacurate or highly variable. 20 pounds of fat and 20 pounds of muscle mean different things. An Old Navy 36" waist is different than an H&M 36" waist is different than a Gap 36" waist. And we always know that a man's 8 inches is often closer to 6 ;-)

Yesterday, I decided to bite the bullet and go over to GWU to their Body Composition Lab and get a DEXA Body Composition Scan. The problem is that the only data point I had to compare it to were the caliper and impedence measurements done in July. The latter is wildly inaccurate and subject to fluctuations in body moisture and salinity. The former has always been problematic for me because a thigh measurement always skews the results since it is taken on the front of the thigh where I have a LOT of muscle, and not on the back where I carry a bunch of fat. I was hardly expecting a reading that was near my shoe size, but I wasn't expecting it to be just a tad higher than my age. Needless to say, I was somewhat disheartened. I know my body has changed for the better, I was just hoping for a bit more scientific validation of that. After all, I'm a numbers guy.

Thankfully, prior to this test I'd made some changes in diet and had further modifications to behavior planned (since implemented), and I now have the baseline for an accurate, repeatably testable method for defining progress. I'm no longer disheartened, I'm now armed with my friends-- numbers (including the imaginary ones ;-) -- and I'm recharged and recommitted. If you need me, you can find me at Vida. And, fair warning, if you tempt me with a carb on any day but a Sunday, and I'll cut you, bitch :-P

The Knowledgemonger on the Importance of Mistakes

"Always Make New Mistakes" by Emily Dyson


This quote speaks about mistakes from two different, yet very important, areas. Firstly, it implies the importance of making mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, those of us that make more mistakes are living more outwardly, trying more things to find what it is that makes each of us the unique person that we are. Mistakes are not inherently an issue. Take for instance a baby taking it's first steps. They stand up and put one foot in front of the other precariously balancing themselves as they totter on the brink of falling over, which they eventually do. This mistake only becomes costly if the child wrongly assumes that every time that it tries to walk that it will fall and instead decides to continue to crawl. But, humans don't do that, we learn from that first failure and try to correct our balance to keep from repeating the error that made us fall in the first place.

This brings us to the second important point addressed by this quote: to not repeat old mistakes. Making the same mistake repeatedly is something that can have catastrophic effects. The rationale individual after making a mistake, needs to identify the mistake, correct the mistake (when possible) & remember the mistake as to not repeat it. When you learn from your mistakes you become a stronger person, able to not walk down the same wrong path in that situation. This can be tricky. Just because the path is different from the originally erred path does not necessarily make it the correct path as there may be more than two options with the any number of correct responses and incorrect responses.

Even more importantly is to realize that the wrong path for one situation may be the right path for a nearly identical situation if the players are different. Confused yet? Well, the good news is all you have to do is try a path and see where it leads and make note of the outcome. Just like a baby taking their first step decisions are things that come easier with experience and time. The goal of life is not to stop making mistakes, but to make fewer in time that are costly.

I leave you with this poem that I always found enlightening:

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd
have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly
and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments and if I had it to do over
again, I'd have more of them. In fact,
I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments.

One after another, instead of living so many
years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.

If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter next time.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

By Nadine Stair (age 85)

Nose to the Grindr-stone

So while I'm a technophile in general, I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to philia and eros, tech and I just don't get along. Call me a romantic luddite, I don't know. That being said, I do get a certain amusement (not that type of amusement, get your minds out of the gutter) out of utilizing services such as Grindr and Scruff on my iPhone, including:

"What is [he] headless?" -- Megan Mullaly in Will & Grace
The sheer number of headless men who state a requirement for a face pic is amusing to say the least. I can't tell if these people are just oblivious or simply unabashed in their hypocrisy.

"For God's sake, Gerry. I asked you a simple question; there is no need for you to become Woody Allen." -- Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors
There are absolutely no neurotic gay men in DC. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Every single gay man in DC is laid back. Does this sound like the gay DC we live in? I didn't think so. The only type of laid back gay men we have in DC are the ones who get laid on their backs. *rimshot*

My particularly favorite use of "laid back" was accompanying a profile picture of a guy in a tailored suit, leaning against a nice wooden dining room table, with the light streaming in from a window just-so. Laid back? Really?

"Howard Brackett is a big homo, queer, Mary, sissy man! He just came out at his big church wedding! Martha Stewart is furious! " -- Kevin Kline in In & Out
Apparently, everyone on these sites is or is looking for a masc[uline] (usually laid back) guy. First, "masculine guy" is redundant. Barring that, for this assertion to be true, the helium-heeled and -headed twinks of the world should be dying from sexual starvation and there should be a commercial starring Cuba Gooding, Jr. about saving them. I believe we can all agree that this is not the case. Similarly, some of the most masculine looking guys around are affliected with a serious case of STHJ syndrome.

"Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative." -- Oscar Wilde
I particularly enjoy when a random person with a practically blank profile messages one with "Hi," "Hey," "Sup," or, my coworkers' favorite, "Woof" (not to be confused with Scruff's woof at feature which is much like Match.com's wink, or OkCupid's woo). The art of conversation seems to be dead. People don't understand how to use conversation as a tool. I realize that people use these tools for different things some are looking just for sex, others for dates, others from friends. Conversation is the way to elicit this information.

"You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky; it's in the shape of a giant cock." - Hit Girl in Kick-Ass
As I said above conversation is the way to elicit information on which page each of the participants is on. The sheer number of unsolicited cock shots that I've received is amazing. Including, my personal fave, someone who fished his cock out of his ski pants to take a picture while on the side of a ski slope while I was in Breckenridge. I mean seriously. I realize that some of our contributors here at 100MC are cock shot connoiseurs, but I'm not. And if you, ya know, conversed with me before sending it, I could have told you that.

So, no earth-shattering news here, the world of gay dating is full of awkwardness, lying, shallowness, hypocrisy, and rampant sexual desire. It's just that now, thanks to these apps, that wonderful world is just 0 feet away.

Blogging Made Easier

As I sit here pondering my decision to have a 3 hour gap between my first class and the rest of them, I am reminded that I should actually blog. So today in true Martha Stewart fashion I am going to give you 5 easy things you can do that will make for an entertaining blog post:

1. By far the easiest is to take a picture of something or someone and make fun of it or make it look ridiculously cute. The wittier you are the better you will pull this off. Easy Targets: People at WalMart, Baby Animals, Church Signs, Traffic Signs that contradict one another, Celebrities & Children's Drawings.

2. Video yourself. Say whatever you want, again it helps to be witty. Things that can assist in making this approach successful: a webcam (duh!), costumes, an expressive face & eloquence when speaking.

3. Discuss media: music, movies, webpages, books, games, etc. Everyone loves pop culture and whatever you have to say has to be at least as interesting as whatever someone else has to say. Go hear a cool band *ding* blog it. Go see that new blockbuster movie *ding* blog it. Play a game that frustrates the hell out of you *ding* blog it.

4. Write about something that is out of the ordinary or is downright ridiculous. Santa driving your city bus, Shit your dad says, people repeatedly walking into a window that they think is a door... there are gems that happen everyday around each of us, believe me I work at a bar.

5. Make a list of things in a process to make things easier for someone else: like this blog entry. Good at cooking?... Awesome... post recipes and discuss foods... Got a hobby? You have an outlet and a way to get ideas from others.

Now, that I have given you some help, 100MCers... Where the Hell are You?

A Midwinter Night's (Gay)Dream

I had a dream early New Year's Day. It was equally comforting and confusing. (It should all make sense in a moment.)

See, it was a Golden Girls dream. Except it wasn't the Golden Girls. Rather it was the actresses who played the Golden Girls. Except that it took place on the set of The Golden Girls. And the Girls each played to their character's stereotype. And it happened in front of a live audience. (I know this not because I could see them but because they laughed at all the appropriate places ... or maybe it was a laugh track. Who knows.)

In any case ... The Golden Girls was done ... in syndication and no new episodes had been shot in years. Betty was upset about a particular episode that she felt didn't have the right resolution. (Don't ask me which one. I'm sure it doesn't really exist.) Betty approached the other Girls about reuniting and doing the episode again, except with the correct resolution. Rue, in her charming Southern accent, said that she thought it was just a lovely idea and she would be so happy to be part of it. Bea, after some hemming and hawing, agreed that it didn't really feel right to her either and that they should do it. Estelle, however, wasn't as keen to the idea. So the entire "dream episode" revolved around convincing Estelle to re-shoot the offending episode (which, now that I remember better after typing all this out, was the series finale). Estelle, of course, agrees in the end to the once-off reunion and the dream fades to black amidst audience applause.

What does it all mean? Hell if I know. All I do know is that it was good to see the Girls together again, even if it was all in my head.