The Santa Conundrum

He's fat, he's jolly, everyone loves him. Why does being overweight work for him and no one else?

In the past 4 days I've had not one nor two, but several people complain to me about how they are fat. While some of these claims were really critiques of the current skinny/slim fit fashion ethos, all of them have been couched in the terminology of "fat," and not one of them has had a legitimate claim to that word.

In my past I've pushed close to 270 and been as low as 175, and even then, I felt fat. So I understand that people can be uncomfortable with or critical of their body regardless of their actual weight. That being said, I feel that couching this consistently in terms of being fat is causing some serious issues.

Off to the gym,
Then to a fitting,
claiming they're fat.

I won't lie and say that certain statements and actions by friends of mine have me worried. I fear that "manorexia" is spreading amongst the gay community and I'm worried for our community's continued health (both mental and physical). If people are getting sent the signal that they are fat when nothing is further from the truth what sort of mental anguish is that placing on them, and by extension those people who are overweight.

In my life I've come to accept that I will never have a six-pack. At my lightest I was still in a size 36 because of my hips (damn birthing hips) and quads (strong from carrying around all that weight) and any excess weight gathered around my waist. Even now, after months of working with a trainer, I've made definite progress on my body, however I've made it abundantly clear to him that I don't care about losing fat as much as I care about building strength. I won't do idiotic diets or decrease the things I enjoy (mmm, bread, mmm) just to get a six pack.

Anyway, I'm not sure where exactly I'm going with this except to say that I'm a combination of worried, annoyed, and sympathetic, but I feel like everyone should give themselves and others a freaking break once in a while. Next time you feel fat or are gonna call someone fat, think about Santa and how that's what everyone loves about him.

Note: I recognize somewhat my own hypocrisy in that I get a certain je ne sais quoi out of going to Bear Happy Hour and being one of the thinnest people there.